Thursday, February 22, 2007

"Sex and the City" - An Affair to Remember

We couldn't help but wonder…as Carrie Bradshaw would write,
What we would do without our weekly fix of "Sex & the City" on Sunday night?

This is our tribute to the amazing show, "Sex & the City,"
The chronicles of four single NY gals, all successful, smart, and pretty.

Showing us that good friends and cosmopolitans could make everything better,
In Manhattan, the Big Apple - New York City's love letter.

Carrie wrote her musings in her sex column each week,
While hitting local hot spots, and always looking chic.

Samantha Jones, the PR queen had the most outrageous sex life,
Charlotte York, the naive one whose primary ambition was to be somebody's wife.

And Miranda Hobbes, the one so cynical and sarcastic,
This sorority of four was nothing short of fantastic.

Great friends, great jobs, great sex - these women could have it all,
From the beginning of season one, we were already having a ball!

Carrie was out on the town, looking for a cab outside,
When a man called "Mr Big" pulled up and offered her a ride.

Talk of never being in love, Carrie stammered so cutely,
When she asked Mr Big his own answer, he said "Abso-Fuckin-lutely."

Carrie's pal Skipper was just a little too kind,
For tough Miranda he just wasn't what she had in mind.

Samantha proved herself that the city was full of men for her to screw,
Each week without fail, she'd be in bed with someone new.

When Carrie and Big start dating, Carrie almost forgets,
To make time for her girlfriends and their conversations about good sex

Discussing problems like what to do when it's too big or too small,
How to talk dirty, and why he didn't call.

And that shopping and new Manolo Blahniks can salvage any bad day.
Carrie needs this therapy when she learns Mr. Big isn't going to stay.

Though in season two Carrie would prefer getting over Big by sitting home with a hanky,
She runs into him when out on a date with the hot new Yankee.

Soon they get back together, trying to make the relationship work,
Her friends don't understand why she doesn't see that he's just a jerk.

But Carrie's in love and thinking clearly isn't always easy to do,
Her faith is restored in him when he finally calls to say the words "I love you."

But soon Big breaks the news that for a year he must move to France,
So much for giving this relationship a second chance.

Phone sex and "Fuck Friends" and the Rabbit too,
This ground breaking series showed that women liked sex as much as men do.

After a guy falls asleep on her, Charlotte is quick to despair,
The girls go to a tantric sex workshop and the "demonstration" ends up in Miranda's hair.

For a weekend getaway to the Hampton's it's just a quick Jitney ride,
Carrie is shocked to see Big there, with Natasha, the girl who will soon become his bride.

Their engagement was shocking to Carrie, she wondered why it hadn't been her,
It was like Robert Redford's character Hubble in the movie The Way We Were.

So she told Big, "Your girl is lovely" as she passed by their engagement party that day,
He didn't get it then, and he never did, Carrie realized as she turned and walked away.

When Carrie turned 35 the girl made a toast to their single life,
And Charlotte informed the others this was the year she would become a wife.

Carrie's modeling career was tragic, she took an unfortunate spill,
Which led to coining the phrase "fashion roadkill."

Miranda got back together with Steve, a recent ex,
Who was originally just a one night stand - an evening of meaningless sex.

Steve accepted Miranda as she was, but didn't like feeling like he wasn't enough,
A furniture maker named Aidan came into Carrie's life - could it be true love?

Charlotte was tired of waiting to meet Mr. Right,
When she fell in front of a taxi and out stepped her White Knight

Trey MacDougal, a well-bred Scottish lad,
His mother was a nightmare, and he was such a cad.

But all Charlotte could see were wedding invitations with her name at the top,
Samantha announced that she was a lesbian, then watched everyone's jaw drop.

Carrie and Aidan were going strong, good talks, dates, and sex,
Everything was perfect until along came her ex.

Carrie quickly confessed to Aidan that she had cheated,
She meant cigarettes, hoping her affair with Big wouldn't be repeated.

But Carrie couldn't just end what should have never even started,
One thing was clear - someone was going to end up broken hearted.

Natasha was the one who found Big and Carrie together in her bed,
Their number was finally up, their relationship officially dead.

And naturally when she told Aidan, he broke up with Carrie,
There was no time for crying, it was off to see Charlotte and Trey marry.

We were eagerly awaiting the start of season four,
We just couldn't wait for "More, more, more." (How do you like it?)

Charlotte was a newlywed, but hardly feeling blissful and exhilarated,
Since Trey had a problem with impotency - she never would have anticipated.

Carrie ran into Aidan and realized how much she regretted what she did,
She had ruined everything for another shot with a guy who calls her "kid."

Aidan proposes to Carrie, dropping to one knee to give her a ring,
But it was only around her neck that Carrie would wear her bling.

They moved in together, into Carrie's small space,
She didn't realize that wedding plans would move at such a fast pace.

She told him that she loved him, but she just was not ready to marry,
And Aidan knew then that he had to say goodbye to Carrie.

Miranda had some pity sex with Steve and the one ball he still had,
With her lazy ovary, she never expected they would soon be mom and dad.

She went to get an abortion because she was not the maternal type,
But then she realized that this might not happen again in her life.

Steve proposed marriage, but a hand me down ring just wasn't right,
Miranda said they could share custody, but she wasn't ready to wear white.

After her divorce from Trey, Charlotte was far from content,
But she gave Carrie her wedding ring so she could buy back her apartment.

Samantha broke up with Maria, putting an end to the whole lesbian shtick,
And she opened up her heart to Richard Wright, her boss with the perfect dick.

At first it was all about the great sex and the gifts and jewelry,
Until Sam blurted out "I love you" while rolling on Ecstasy.

Samantha was terrified that her heart was on the line,
Dressed as Raquel Welch, a cheating Richard she would find.

And Carrie called Mr Big one night when she was feeling lonely,
He told her he was moving to Napa, here for one more weekend only.

She had the perfect shoes for her perfect date, in good old New York,
But Miranda going into labor meant Carrie and Big had to cut the night short.

We knew at this point things were changing, and it made us remember,
Our true pride in the city, yesterday, today, and forever.

Richard the cheater, apologizes profusely desperate to get back together with Sam,
She gives him a chance after he repeatedly vows, "I love you. I'm sorry. I really am."

But Ms Jones realizes that forgiveness is easier said than done,
She loses Richard in Atlantic City but knows that with her friends she has only won.

Miranda is learning to adjust to her new role as Brady's mother,
Carrie's book tour leads her to the West Coast, where she sees her favorite ex-lover.

Jack Berger, the self deprecating writer feels like good fortune for Carrie,
Charlotte is surprised to find her self falling for her divorce attorney, Harry.

She is dismayed when Harry tells her he will only wed a Jewish girl,
Then there was his "shiksah goddess" Charlotte York, a WASP, a fan of the pearl.

Converting to Judaism, learning lessons of the Torah and David's star,
Elizabeth Taylor had done it, now it was time for Char.

Carrie's success and his own failures made Berger feel like shit,
He proved to be a major loser breaking up with her on a Post- It.

And Samantha proved she was as hot as Demi,
Dating a hot young actor, who changed his name to Smith from Jerry.

Miranda dated a doctor who lived in her building, but soon it was done,
As soon as she told Steve she loved him and he told her she was "The One."

So Charlotte and Miranda each became a bride,
Charlotte's wedding was in her temple, Miranda's was outside.

The Russian Alexsandr Petrovsky was Carrie's latest lover,
He wined and dined her, but they couldn't be more different from one another.

He was an artist, getting ready for a big new exhibit,
Miranda moved her family to Brooklyn and made the girls promise to visit.

Samantha received some news that wasn't easy to digest,
She was diagnosed with cancer after doctors found a lump in her breast.

Smith was by her side, offering comfort, support and care,
So incredibly romantic was the scene when he shaved off his gorgeous hair.

Charlotte and Harry were looking to adopt, to bring a baby into their home,
In the meanwhile their dog Elizabeth Taylor gave birth to a litter of her own.

Carrie decided to follow the Russian to France and headed out of town,
To bid farewell to her friends and shut her computer down.

Her friends, her life, her city, all the things Paris would lack,
We needed Mr. Big to "Bring our girl back!"

One last Manhattan lunch with the girls, everything so different yet the same,
And FINALLY we find out the BIG mystery - John is his name!

Sex & the City's final episode had our girls living happily ever after,
We toasted to all the cosmopolitans, the girl talk, the laughter.

The moments we were reminded of our own group of friends,
The feeling of falling in love, the heartache when it ends.

The relationships in our lives was what this show truly was about,
The friends, the lovers, the people who help us figure it all out.

Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, Charlotte - forever the fabulous four,
After six years of great 'Sex' - we're begging for more!

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